ADD in One Spouse Affects the Marriage
ADD or ADHD in one half of a marriage can cause problems throughout the relationship. The partner of someone affected by ADD might feel as if he or she has another child rather than an adult partner as the struggles with consistency, routines and what feels like irresponsibility can build up resentment in a spouse.
This New York Times article does a really nice job of scratching the surface of the problem. It is hard to know what it is like unless you have first-hand experience but sometimes, just knowing what it is can be an important step toward a happier and healthier relationship. Click here to read the article.
We would be interested in reading about your experiences, successes and struggles with Adult ADD and your relationship. Please add your comments here.
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About Sally and John
Sally Connolly and John Turner are marriage and family therapists who live in Louisville, Kentucky. They have each been practicing therapists for over 30 years and love what they do.
John and Sally also offer online counseling through their website CounselingRelationshipsOnline.com. Check in with them for personal help with your relationship.
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Hi there.
I just found your blog after having another frustrating day with my child who has adhd. I myself have adult add and I tell you that it is hard. It is so hard dealing with him when I can’t get myself straight. My relationship with my children and husband are strained because of all the chaos in my family. I feel like a complete failure as a mother. I know that my issues have created a lot of the problems and behavioral issues my 2 oldest children have. I don’t know how to deal. My symptoms of add became more clear when my son was diagnosed 2007. Has increasingly gotten worse as I have had my 3 children. I feel overloaded and unorganized in my life. On top of it all lost my job at the end of 2009 and now the stress and worry about the lack of a job and money doesn’t help. Just frustrated and inadequate as a person.
Hi Jennifer,
Sounds stressful. Living with your own ADD is challenging enough. Add a child with ADHD and all of the stresses of handling activities and schedules for 3 children can be overwhelming. Don’t know where you live but check with your local family services agency about support group and counseling that might help you and your family develop some of the structure and skills that will make life easier.
There are also some good forums and websites on the internet that have helpful suggestions and insights.