Marriage and Sex: Tip Number 5

Men:  Women feel much more interested in an intimate sexual experience if they have intimacy outside of the bedroom.

This usually does not mean that you have to cry or talk a lot about … feelings, heaven forbid!

One small step would be to ask her about her day and then tell her 1 fact about what happened with you.  Simple conversation about what is going on in your life and in hers is a way to begin.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

Healing from Affairs

Marriage and Sex: Tip Number 4

Women:  Your man may not understand what you mean by “intimacy“.

He really may not have the same idea that you do about how to be intimate and connected outside of the bedroom in order for you to be ready for intimacy in the bedroom.

For men, intimacy often means activities together, which includes sex.  Men often feel connected and intimate AFTER making love and then are more able to talk and act in loving ways.

Gently and lovingly share with your partner what you want and need, then look for his efforts in that direction and let him know how much you appreciate them.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

Healing from Affairs

Marriage and Sex: Tip Number 3

Talk together about what you like about the marriage.  Be the first to begin.  Make it fun and without pressure.

Creating an environment between you that is positive and loving has the greatest possibility for increasing intimacy.  Spouses want to be closer, both emotionally and physically, to those that they like and enjoy.

Focusing more on what is good about your partner and your marriage, rather than the negatives and struggle, are much healthier and much more likely to lead to the results that you want.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

Healing from Affairs

Marriage and Sex: Tip Number 2

Be the first to take a step forward.

Waiting for someone else to change, even if they really SHOULD be the one to take the first step, can be destructive and really not worth the damage it does to a relationship.

Take that first step graciously, maybe even a few times, and look for even small positive signs.

Marriage and Sex, Tip Number 1

Consider the question:  Is this stand-off worth the problems that it creates in your marriage?

Think long and hard about whether or not you want to continue with this pattern.

Think about how the problem has affected you and your spouse and then think about how things could and, hopefully, will be different when the problem is resolved.

Each person is half of the problem … and half of the solution.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

Healing from Affairs.

Love and Marriage Advice: We Have Different Ideas of Intimacy

We often see couples stuck in this pattern.  The wife feels connected and ready for intimacy when she and her spouse have talked, touched and spent time together.  The husband feels connected when he makes love with his wife.

Debbie and Don were in this difficult pattern.  Each felt controlled by the other.  Verbally and nonverbally, each told the other that they would not have their needs met until they got what they wanted from the other.

With time and slowing down the process, Debbie and Don were able to  talk with each other about how each felt about their struggle and what intimacy and sex meant to each of them.   The also learned that their “dance” was not unusual,  that men and women often have different experiences and needs and neither one is right or wrong.   Debbie and Don were able to slowly take steps toward each other.

We have several ideas about reigniting passion on our website.   Check out our article on Reigniting Passion and Romance. Some of them might work for you.   We also would be interested in learning about your experiences with this “dance“.  What worked for you?

Counseling Relationships Online
Couples Counseling of Louisville